On Fall, Follicles and other F words.

I've recently made a concerted effort to limit my screen time, which has resulted in considerable radio silence here on the blog. Already I've let enough time lapse that I'm sitting here wondering where to begin, but here is my best effort at an update.

So last Tuesday was my follicle check ultrasound, and it was a disappointment. One ovary didn't respond at all to the 150 mg of Clomid- and the other's "lead" follicle was just .9 mm. You need 1.6 minimum to trigger. I was admittedly skeptical on the timing of the ultrasound, CD 13, since the (only freaking) two times I've confirmed ovulation it was on CD18. After some pleading I convinced my doctor to check again on Thursday morning, but I could tell as I left that she was pretty convinced it would prove to be a waste of time. 

I drank an inordinate amount of water, and took the supplement (myo-inositol) that some studies have suggested help increase oocyte size and quality in women with PCOS. And I visualized going in, looking at that screen and seeing a bigger follicle. Cheesy? Maybe. But studies suggest that positive visualization can actually be a powerful tool. Besides, you could tell me to sit in a tree and sing the alphabet in french and if you could show me even anecdotal evidence it would help me get knocked up....I'd probably do it.

Well, SOMETHING worked. That sucker grew, and faster than studies say it was "supposed" to in two days. It was 1.6 mm, an adequate size for trigger. I was SO excited! My doctor was surprised, and suddenly much more positive and upbeat about my prospects with the trigger. The timing was a little crazy, sure- I mean I was due to get on a plane in a few hours to spend a long weekend with my in-laws and was about to undergo a treatment that may or may not make me vomit and nothing says sexy time like being sick to your stomach in your in-law's guestroom but.... I'm sorry, what did you say? Could you repeat that? What do you mean there isn't any Ovridel in this town and the soonest you could get it here would be 24 hours?

No, I'm not kidding. I swear. I'm just that girl! I couldn't bring myself to disappoint my in-laws and cancel the trip. I tried to focus on the positive overall message, which was that one ovary responded to the stimulation and could possibly be triggered next cycle. And there is a decent chance that the follicle popped out on its own. Mostly, I've succeeded in maintaining that focus. There were just a few F words that flew out as I drove away from that appointment. I'm sure studies suggest that's healthy once in a while, right?

It's fall here now. My favorite time of the year. Woodstove/quilt/hoodie/apple cider weather. I'm resolved to make sure I enjoy it, to choose happiness instead of sadness in spite of what we face. I do believe it can be a choice.

Until next time,

Grace Elizabeth